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Janie finds a calling.

“Damn it, Ken, I told you the doctor said it was common in women like me,” Denise said tersely while rinsing a soapy cup and tipping it onto the drainer by the sink. “I wish I could get all wet like I used to, too.”

Ken was pacing the kitchen, angry, feeling rejected. He’d come home from the office horny and had walked behind his wife, reached around and cupped a cotton-covered breast in each hand and ground his rising boner into her backside. But she hadn’t skipped a beat in her dishwashing and instead of melting in his arms had stiffened, yellow-gloved hands swirling a sponge along a dirty plate. Then he’d said something stupid and the same damned argument began. The argument they’d had too many times lately.

“I’ve been patient while you’ve tried the creams and stuff, haven’t I?” he said, “I’ve been gentle and kind. Why do you act like I’m being unreasonable? It’s been like two months since we made love.”

“Time has nothing to do with it, honey,” she pleaded, “And I think it’s been three weeks. It’s not that I don’t want to. It just hurts. So I can’t feel all excited about it like you do. I have to plan ahead and be ready.” She lied about wanting to, trying not to alienate the man further. God knows how he’d take the idea that her body just didn’t desire his.

“But, Denise, you’re only 37! Isn’t this supposed to happen to women in menopause or something?” They’d been married young and happily loving each other for 18 years. He wasn’t expecting this. Sex had always been so easy and simple. Their marriage hadn’t run up against any problem this big before.

“The doctor says it might be temporary or psychological. They don’t know much about how women’s bodies work, apparently.” She silently scoffed. Of course the doctors, mostly being men, hadn’t thought to study something like this. Viagra they could invent, obviously, but an aid to a woman’s libido? It was a second class problem, as always. She was angry, too. She liked sex. Though honestly, Ken was a little boring in bed. She’d tried for years to get him to understand her need for romance and tenderness and wooing before bedtime, but he just couldn’t seem to get it. After a couple of lame attempts with flowers and candles, he’d revert to his caveman method of hoof-stamping randy-ness and bull-headed focus on getting from dressed to orgasm by the most direct and all-too-unimaginative method. She was often left wanting.

“But I’m missing you, babe,” he said as he again eased up against her body and she again went tight. He spun away, yelled, “There’s nothing the matter with me!”

“Shh, Taylor and her tutor friend are downstairs.”

Through clenched teeth he grunted, “I just want to go upstairs and make you holler like we used to do.”

“I’m sorry, Kenny, but not tonight.” She said quietly over her shoulder as she scrubbed another dish, holding her breath.

“That’s it then? I’m tired of this fucking shit.” And he stormed out the kitchen door into the narrow side yard of the duplex. He walked back and forth on the concrete for a few minutes, noticing the grass in the crevices. Sitting on the steps he drew out a cigarette and lit up, taking deep lungsful of smoke, blowing it forcefully up into the darkening evening sky. In the space between the buildings, cluttered with garbage cans and HVAC units, old toys and a broken lawnmower, the chain-link fence drawing a sagging line between his fiefdom and the neighbor’s, he thought. I’ve been a good provider, right? The insurance agency makes good, dependable money. I’ve invested in rentals like we planned. We’ve got money enough to send Taylor to college, get a new car whenever Denise wanted, go to Disney every year. Right? I’m good with money, don’t waste a dime. That’s what I’m supposed to do, right? I just want regular sex, that’s all. Is that too much to ask?

***********************************

When Janie had left the house that early fall morning she’d told her mom that the classmate, Taylor, that she’d been assigned to tutor had asked her over to study after school. She wished she could ask kids over to her house, but understood since long before that their clothing-optional household was off limits. Nobody knew about the nudity, of course. Discretion was the better part of neighborliness in their little southern town. But her friends’ parents thought there was something a little weird about the Hedges, though they didn’t find anything strange about the kids, who did well in school and behaved perfectly in company. But wasn’t it odd that they never invited anyone over? Here they had this sprawling, custom-built home over in Glen Chase with the five acre lot, practically a ‘compound’, and Brenda Hedges had that fine Yoga school, Tom was one of the best regarded contractors in town, the twin boys did so well at track and field, but no one could say what their home life was like. It began to be an item of gossip and Janie had heard the whispers. Still, she’d learned to negotiate the awkward questions at an early age. And she found it to be a nice break from routine occasionally to keep her clothes on after school.

So doktor porno as she went down to Taylor’s basement apartment to prepare for their 12th grade chemistry exam she didn’t expect it to be an evening that would change her life.

“Put your jacket and books anywhere,” Taylor said as she got a soda from the mini-fridge. “You want a Coke?”

Janie declined and found a place to sit on the couch and slipped off her shoes. “Wow, you’ve got your own apartment down here. It’s really cool to have so much space to yourself. You’ve got your own TV and a kitchen, too.”

“What’s strange about that? Haven’t you got a room of your own?” Taylor looked at her with one eyebrow raised.

And there it was again. She’d nearly said too much just in expressing her envy of the pudgy redhead’s bigger room. At home, dad had designed the house to use shared spaces and all she had was a cubby with a curtain that they’d let her set up by one of the windows in the bedroom.

“Oh, of course, but not a kitchen to myself. Being an only child must be great for you. My brothers are always taking up so much space. And they are noisy, too.”

“But Sam’s at college now, right? How’s he doing? When will he be home?”

Janie was used to girls trying to get to her 6’4″ athlete brothers through her, the runt of the family. The boys didn’t sleep around, didn’t even date when they were in high school; another family thing.

She said, smoothing the fabric of her shirtdress along her thighs, “Oh, Sam’s doing fine at Tech. He really likes clothing design. Says he has a girlfriend.” Take that and stop asking questions, you crooked-faced girl. Taylor’s features didn’t sit quite right. Janie had the impression that the girl’s eyes and nose had drifted a little away from where they were supposed to be. The baggy sweatshirt and torn jeans weren’t helping, either. Too bad about the mole, too. It stood out on her white skin. “You know Sam’s only been gone a couple of weeks, right?”

“Mikey’s working for your dad, though, isn’t he?” persisted Taylor, all innocent.

“Just one year, then he’s going to go for business management.”

Taylor sat at the other end of the couch, “Is he going to take over the business?”

God, it seemed this girl had her own future planned already and here we are just finishing high school, thought Janie. “Who are you, the future Mrs. Michael Hedges?”

“Oh, no, oh, no,” blurted Taylor, all flustered, blushing, “I was just curious. Jeez.”

“Sorry, it seems like every girl at St. Anne’s wants to be Mrs. Michael or Samuel Hedges. Wouldn’t you rather have a life of your own? I can’t wait to get out of here and find something amazing to do!”

“Well, fuck this chemistry exam. I’m going to fail it for sure.” Taylor slumped. “And I don’t give a shit about chemistry anyway.”

Janie was glad her parents had taught her to be her own person and make her own choices. She had a list of things she planned to explore in college and knew that getting good grades, even in subjects she didn’t like, was just a part of the process she had to accept. It wouldn’t help to whine like a 3-year old. This girl needed to grow up.

“Let’s work on it for a while anyway, OK. That’s why you asked me over, right?”

And they did hit the books for an hour or so, Janie dragging Taylor through the tables and equations until the red-haired girl threw herself back on the couch and gave an exasperated sigh. “I’m just never going to get this shit.”

“It’s OK, Taylor, just do what you can.” Frankly, Janie knew she wasn’t going to be able to help the girl very much. Tutoring just wasn’t her strong suit, at least not in something she was not inspired by, like high-school chemistry. And she needed a break, too. “Where’s the bathroom?” she asked, looking around.

“There by the stairs,” Taylor pointed, “I’m getting another soda. You want one?”

Janie declined again and went to the bathroom, where what she really wanted to do was take off her bra. The concession to wearing clothes in public was one she could accept while at school, but bras just didn’t make any sense to her. In front of the mirror she undid the little belt at the waist of her black and white-striped shirtdress and pulled the garment over her head. Reaching back she unhooked her bra and sighed as she released her small, pink-nippled breasts. She scratched at the little crease under each one where the bra had chafed. Janie didn’t really need a bra and she did get impatient with the need not to offend “other people”. Feeling particularly impudent, she slipped the dress back over her head and stripped off her panties, too, for good measure. She felt much better.

Slipping the underwear into her book bag she rejoined Taylor on the couch. “It feels really private down here,” She observed. The space ran the whole length of the duplex, half underground. There was a bedroom at the farthest end and on one wall small windows right at the top, dimming as the sun was just going down. Janie could hear Taylor’s mom walking around in the kitchen now and then.

“Oh, ensest porno my parents leave me pretty much alone, but they do nag about my grades. They only let me ask you over because I said we were going to study.” Taylor looked bleak. “I can’t study what I really want.”

“What’s that?”

“Guys, I guess. That’s why I asked about Sam and Mike. I can’t stop thinking about guys, them especially. That’s why I picked you as my tutor. Can I tell you a secret?”

Janie thought, oh, shit, here it comes. Why do people always want what they can’t have?

“I know I’m not real good-looking, but guys like redheads and I’m not too tall and I dress OK and smell nice and stuff but why don’t nice guys ask me out? I mean, the gross ones are always trying to get a piece, but what about the nice ones?” Taylor was practically crying. She seemed so confused.

“I’m in the same boat with you, Taylor. The nice boys don’t come after me. You were going to tell me a secret?”

“Oh, the boys don’t come after you because your brothers would kick their asses. Besides you don’t seem to want them to. But I want to ask you a question because, because, well because I’m a virgin and you’re not.” Taylor said breathlessly, looking apprehensively at her friend.

Janie was taken aback, but said, trying to be kind, “Taylor, it’s not really a secret that you’re a virgin.”

“Well it’s no secret you’re not, either, Janie. You changed last spring when you turned 18 and all of a sudden you just seemed different somehow. In fact, my mom said something after your birthday about how you walked different and had this aura or something. She said she could tell just looking at you. And you don’t have a boyfriend, either.” Taylor was clearly upset.

Janie just looked at her for a minute, suddenly aware of herself, how she might look to other people, that the cotton of her shirtdress was the only thing covering her. In a way she was self-conscious for the first time about her body. She saw herself from the outside. Her skin became sensitive. She felt her nipples prick. It was a strange involuntary thing.

“I mean we’ve all heard the rumors, you know?” Taylor was unchecked, now.

“What rumors?”

“Well, about the orgies, the orgies at your house…” Taylor was looking at the carpet and Janie was beginning to sweat.

“People think there are orgies at my house?”

“I heard my parents talking about it and all the kids think that must be why you and your brothers don’t date anyone. I mean, you’re not bible-thumpers, so it’s not that. How can people so sexy not be having sex? And there’s a kid, Bobby, who says he snuck over there and saw your mom sunbathing nude last summer… sorry.” Her fingers were tugging at the torn knees of her jeans, stripping the loose threads.

Janie felt ambushed. She’d never admit that Taylor was right, that she’d given her dad and mom her virginity for her 18th birthday and been gleefully screwing them and her brothers ever since, that she’d exploded into a sexual being that night and was fully satisfied at home. She’d never be able to explain her parent’s philosophy of childrearing that allowed her to decide when to be sexually active, how they’d taught her and her brothers that to be made love to for the first time by someone who really loved you was the best way (and they were demonstrably right!), that becoming a sexually active person was as important and carried as much responsibility as the right to vote or drive, that living in the nude from an early age made her comfortable with her body and any body, really, that having come of age in a loving family, she’d really fallen in love with her brother Sam and missed him terribly.

Taylor looked up at her, miserable. “I just thought you could help me not to be a virgin anymore. I can’t ask my mom, obviously, and the other girls who are sluts, no, I don’t mean sluts, I mean non-virgins, will just laugh at me or try to get me screwed by some gross guy and I think you know how to keep a secret, that’s why I trust you to ask you to help.”

Janie felt pity for the girl, realizing just how lucky she’d been to have been deflowered by her father. She’d had the blessing of her mother’s presence at the event and hadn’t had to suffer as Taylor was with all the doubt and fear. But she couldn’t tell her the truth. Perhaps she could help her with a half-truth. A plan began to form.

“You know, Taylor, those are nasty rumors and they’re just not true. And I am a virgin, but I guess I act differently because I found a thing that is almost as good as sex with a man. I’m not sure I should tell you, though.” She reached over and touched Taylor on her bared knee.

The girl startled and drew in a sudden breath. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know it’s mean to gossip, but I really wanted your help and I’m going crazy with these thoughts about boys and I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you really want to have sex with a boy or do you just want to not be a virgin anymore?”

“They’re not the same thing?” Taylor looked mystified. Her eyes darted from Janie’s face to the hand erotik porno on her knee.

“I mean do you want people to think you’re not a virgin anymore?”

“I’m afraid, I guess. Afraid of having sex and afraid people will think I haven’t had sex and I really want sex, but I don’t have anything like a boyfriend and I don’t know how to get one and I feel left out.” Taylor paused for breath.

“I found a way to get past that fear, Taylor. Last spring I did change, but not because I lost my virginity. It was because of this thing I found, a way to kind of have sex but without the need for a boy. Apparently, people think I’m not a virgin, so it has a noticeable effect.”

Taylor looked skeptical. “You mean a vibrator? I’m not stupid. I have one of those. Don’t tell my mom. It’s red. You want to see it?” She rose to go toward the bedroom.

“Oh no, that’s OK. It’s not that. It’s a method of preparing for real sex that’s much better. You don’t need a sex toy.” She actually hadn’t even told her family how she prepared herself for sex with them. She’d known that it might be difficult and painful for her since the men in her family, who were so tall, had penises to match, so she’d come up with a method to make herself ready.

“Well what is it?” Taylor sank slowly to the couch again.

“I’ll have to show you.” And she stood up and pulled the shirtdress over her head in a flourish. Her lithe, tanned body stretched as she dropped the clothing. Her pony tail bobbed. “Do you have any olive oil in your kitchen?”

“Oh. My. Gawd!” blurted Taylor. “What are you doing?”

“You just watch.” Janie reclined again, one arm over the end of the couch and pulled her top leg up toward her chest, exposing her lightly furred pubes. Taylor backed into her corner of the couch, eyes wide.

“You…you don’t have any tan lines. Your hair looks so yellow! You do sunbathe in the nude, don’t you?” Taylor said triumphantly.

Janie reached over her hip with her other arm, nestling it between her ass cheeks and began running her fingers along the folds of her pussy. “Any oil?” she said, smiling at the abashed girl.

Taylor scrambled up and quickly found a bottle of olive oil in a cabinet. She returned smiling. “It’s extra-virgin!” She giggled nervously as she held it out to Janie.

“Pour a little,” the naked girl said,” making a cup with her hand. Then, palm filled, she pressed her hand to her crotch and drew a sharp breath. “Cold!” She began rubbing it in sensuously as Taylor sank again to the couch, mesmerized. The earthy smell of the oil blended with musk began to fill the room.

As she slowly rubbed the oil into her flesh, Janie became aroused. She was surprised to find herself being turned on by the exhibitionism she’d just embarked on. Somehow being naked and having sex with her family did not have the same salacious jolt. She felt Taylor’s eyes on her naked body, aware that she was showing her most intimate parts to a stranger. This was a new sensation. She closed her eyes and sank into the rhythm of her stroking, letting her body rise into excitement.

Taylor just watched as Janie first ran her hand along her pubes, letting the swelling flesh of her labia slide between her fingers as she oiled them. She heard the blonde girl’s breathing deepen, saw her nipples crinkle. She felt a responding tug in herself as her body warmed with sympathetic arousal.

“Taylor, are you comfortable naked?” Janie’s question startled her, rapt as her attention was on the blonde’s fingers.

“No…no, not really.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of about your body.” Janie smiled over her curved and shiny hip, letting her eyes drop to Taylor’s chest. “Take off the sweatshirt, OK?”

“But…”

“You do it in the locker room, right?”

“But that’s with everybody, not just you.” Taylor argued.

“Oh come on. So I’ve seen you naked before.”

“No, I do it real fast so nobody can look. I’m not like you and the pretty girls who just go parading around showing it off. I’m…fat.”

How sad, thought Janie, to hate your own body. Too bad the girl had been subjected to so much self-shame. She saw a way to help, felt compassion toward Taylor. “Look, it’s just you and me here. You’re right, I can keep a secret and I want to help you. The first step to not being a virgin is to love yourself. What is it you don’t love about your body?”

“My boobs are too big.” Taylor squeezed them through the sweatshirt to demonstrate. “I’ve got to cover up ’cause they are the only thing people look at.”

Janie’s hand had stopped. “Stand up. Show me.”

Standing, Taylor slowly worked the sweatshirt over her head. She was wearing a formidable cleavage-creating bra of red lace. Janie realized that under the girl’s fear was an ember of self-care.

“What a nice bra, Taylor. You’ve got your girls in a nice situation, there.”

Taylor blushed, didn’t know what to do with her hands. It was nice for someone to appreciate her choice of underwear. Especially one of the pretty girls. She reached behind and slipped the clasp, letting the straps slide down her arms. The large cups fell away and her breasts breathed again, rising on her chest proud and full. Her dark red areolae contrasted with her creamy, white redhead’s skin. She had no tan lines either, but that was because she got no sun at all. Her body glowed like marble.

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